


PB & Accidents

by vaporrub



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Dating, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, allergy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25438864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaporrub/pseuds/vaporrub
Summary: John catches Dave eating a PB&J sandwich outside. John tells him that he just sacrificed the night of his life for some peanut butter and Dave knows it wasn't worth it.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dave Strider
Kudos: 14





	PB & Accidents

You're standing on the balcony of John's dad's old house. You feel so dirty in this moment, savoring every single taste of the most forbidden fruit. A peanut butter jelly sandwich.

Then. You hear the door behind you open. "Dave? Honey?"

"Dave! What are you doing?!" John calls out to you.  


"Uhh…" You turn your head and look at your sandwich. It's too late, you know you're as good as dead.  


"You’re eating something that can kill me!" John points at you.  


"You're a god, John."

"Oh! And you don't think that the swelling and the choking to death is gonna just be a cake walk!?" John puts his hands on his hips. He's right.

Still you press on,  "I'm ratting it on the balcony, over the driveway!"

"How did you make the sandwich then?" John crosses his arms.  


"I asked Jade to make it for me while you were gone, she came by and we had some lunch and shit for my B-day." You shrug with the sandwich still in your hand. "It was a gift."  


John puts his head on his forehead as he whispers,  "no way... I can’t believe this."  


You shrug, "I promise I'll brush my teeth like three times before I kiss you next."  


"Ugh! Dave! I was planning on sucking your dick for your birthday tommarow but I guess I can’t now cause I might get poisoned from your- ugh!" John tosses up his hands and groans.  


"What!?" You feel your chest tighten. John never wants to suck your cock, he always tells you it's too big... except he really means it.   


"Yep. Too bad." John lifts up his hands and shrugs, "no BJs for you."  


"No man, I… shit. How about in like a week?" You ask.  


"Nope, it was a birthday gift." John tells you, "and I'm gonna have to find a last minute substitute.   


"Fuck. What about next Christmas?" You ask. That's a whole nother year from now but...  


"Christmas is where I buy you a fuckton of gifts and you forget to buy me anything so you do me sexual favors- I know you, Dave! I’ve been dating you for a full year now!"

"Oh my god." You shake your head as you look at the sandwich that just ruined your whole year.   


Yeah, you done fucked up.

"How about I make it up to you?" You ask John, maybe you can still fix this.  


"What? By sleeping on the couch, you’re going to anyway!" John tells you.  


"No… by letting you do something I hate…"

"A.... a movie marathon!?" John instantly smiles, glittery stars forming in his eyes.  


"Yep." You nod and put one of your hands in your back pocket.  


"Oh, Dave… maybe I was a bit... too hasty. Okay, you do all these things and I’ll suck your dick on New Years, how about that?" John offers.  


"Why New Years?"

"Cause I don’t want to cook another feast... and I usually do." John sighs, "I want a break from that, and if struggling to gulp down your dick is it... I'll take it."  


"Fair enough." You smile.  



End file.
